I wonder...

I've never been good at writing anything... I mean, my grades in school were pretty bad, especially on language classes (it was romanian, though it should have been moldavian). My language teacher was angry with me, because at home I was talking in russian and that made my grades go even lower (but not low enough to kick me out of the school).

Now, I'm forced to write, because it's one of the few things I can do without physical obstacles. And I have no idea if this will help me in my fight against MS. I don't want to be a burden to my friends and my girlfriend. I want to be the head of my future family and really evolve in every way possible! 

..I'm just rambling now, because my brain wants to say so much, but is able to write so little. This world needs to change and we are the ones that are changing it. There is neither stability nor justice nowadays. Is this all we can get? Is this all that humanity can achieve?

Do you care?

Have you ever been betrayed? Most likely - Yes. 
There is nothing like that feeling, when you're talking to a person, knowing that he just doesn't care enough. These false emotions, false cheer ups and smiles...

Still here, still fighting!

About 1 year ago was the last time I wrote here... Well, guess what? - things didn't change much. The same struggle, the same obstacles  but there is something new: today I know that I shouldn't trust people like I used to and most of my pain will remain only mine. 

This really is starting to sound too depressing, so I'll just say, that I'm happy, that my MS didn't progress much. This is one of the few things I'm happy about :)

A month ago I moved to live with my girlfriend, with whom I'm dating for more than 3 years now and it's working out pretty good. We don't live alone in this apartment, but it's good enough :)
My MS is keeping me mostly at home, because I can't walk for a long time (30 minutes on average is the maximum time I can walk decently and not looking like I've been drinking for a week), but I'm still trying to walk every day, because I'm feeling worse if I stay home. Last year I couldn't walk decently for more than 10 minutes, so these walks of mine are paying off :) And my optimistic approach to MS is helping too! Most of the people don't notice the illness.

I've started to cook a bit and I really like Gordon Ramsay's approach to food! I'm able to cook a couple of his dishes and I'm really proud of it! :) My girlfriend is really happy about it, because these recipes are really good!

Anyway... I've been silent for some time here... hopefully, I'll change it and this blog will see a bit more of my ramble ;)

Today I had a dream...

I dreamed that I ran a very long time... And I was very happy! Hope it will come true... 

Now I'm just somebody that I used to know...

Today, it's very hard to look back, because I was truly happy with how the things where going. MS changed my life considerably and I have to get used to it, so today I will start struggling for my life and my health. I give myself no possibility to fail, because this is the only road to success.


You can think of me anything you want, but I don't want to die young. I have a long life to live and if anyone doesn't agree - shut it, because you are the one failing.


Everyone else - welcome to the new world of roads to success!

How will this end? Part 3

I was growing and learning lots of things about work, people, life... I had no idea that there exists such a thing like MS and when it struck me, it struck hard. Now I'm even being afraid to go out, because I might fall down at some point. 
I want to live and not be afraid.

I don't know how to end these messages... I guess we'll see how it'll turn up.


P.S. Today (4th of June) is my birthday. It's 1:40 AM and I'm writing here, because I'm despaired. Really want this nightmare to be over so I can start living my life again!
I will update my blog when I'll have the time. If anyone wants to comment - please do so and I will definitely reply.

How will this end? Part2

At the end of my hospital stay, I was confident in two things:

1. I will get trough everything, because I have a lot of planes undone.
2. There is someone that is watching and helping me.

How will this end? Part1

Every human was born trough pain... and every human learns what 'pain' means trough his own experience. I will tell you my story.